Noted Plans
by rhead-a-holyc
Summary: Letters passed between Fred and George.


**Quidditch League Round 8: Appleby Arrows**

**Chaser 3: Cruciatus Curse**

**Prompts: ****(picture) preview/16-09-5/Rough-Sea; ****letters (writing style); (picture) preview/909-31-2650/Broken-Window**

**Noted Plans**

Hey Gred,

Do you remember the rolling sea we once visited with Mum and Dad? Well, it gave me an idea. What if we made a prank as big and powerful as that? We would have to have a bit more colour for effect, but could you imagine Snape's face if he was faced with a giant wave with no way to stop himself from being swept away? Just the image of a soaking wet and angry Snape not knowing who to blame makes me want to laugh. The fact that I can see Snape right now makes it seem even more real.

What do you think? Could we pull it off?

Forge

* * *

Forge, my less brilliant twin,

We cannot simply mess with Snape himself. Such a waste of time. I'm afraid I've hung my head in shame at the size of your idea. You need to think bigger, dearest twin mine. We have to include Snape's precious potions too. Nothing gets the dungeon bat more riled up than his potions being stolen. Surely you remember how he reacted when he thought Harry had been stealing his potions ingredients? And those were only ingredients. Imagine if something like Felix Felicis went missing.

I reckon he would be spitting in fury if that happened. Now, imagine that furious Snape wiped out by a huge wave, the wave possibly having a couple of extra content that changes Snape's robes to show more of his deeply hidden Gryffindor patriotism perhaps?

Gred, your more intelligent twin

* * *

Gred, my less handsome twin because you can't have both the brains and the body and don't you dare argue with me on this,

How dare you? Every big plan needs to starts small! I was merely leading up to the more extravagant part of my plans before you _rudely interrupted_. I was going to suggest we make it look like we stole one of his precious potions that takes months to brew, then leave it on his table a year or so later... You know that large wardrobe-looking cupboard with the glass doors? I overheard some of the Snakes saying that Snape's more … _prized_ potions are inside that cupboard. What if we just made a hole in that glass, cracking it just big enough for a small potions vial to be taken out?

Ah, yes. We should prey on his Gryffindor patriotism. I'm sure Professor McGonagall would be delighted at his change of heart. That wouldn't be too difficult, would it? I think we could possibly allow the Pink Hag to help. Imagine Snape surrounded by those horrible cats, wearing pink…

That's straight out of a nightmare, even for us, and we're Gryffindors. Our mascot is a lion. We can just be the lions that are terrified of fluffy, cute cats. Why anyone would think of them as adorable is beyond my understanding.

Forge, your handsome twin

* * *

Forge, my less perfect twin because of course you can have both the brains and the body who lied to you I should probably hunt them down for a prank war,

I dare, quite literally, with my hands. Obviously. I haven't quite mastered writing with my toes yet and I think writing with my toes would become a bit awkward in Transfiguration. I haven't quite mastered that foot-to-hand transfiguration anyway. My foot ends up becoming more like a foot with fingers, not pretty I tell you.

Oh, that cupboard. That _is _a good idea. We'll have to adapt one of the decoy detonators for that to work. We can't be within the castle if that happens or if we are, we need to be under the sight of a teacher. Snape would blame us immediately if the case was any other.

If we do follow through with the entire plan, we should still have other smaller, mortifying pranks afterwards so it's like the Cruciatus Curse. Torture, and the tremors that follow. I think the Pink Toad would be unusually helpful in that regard, especially with the trail of pink that seems to ooze behind her like a bad smell.

We should do something to fix that too, unless you want to turn your target to the Pink Toad. We'll have to take that seriously, more so than any torture done on Snape. She's going to hate pink and have urges to torture cute kittens when we're through with here. We have no other choice if we are to accept this mission. Are you willing?

Gred, your still perfect twin.

* * *

Gred, my highly offensive twin,

How dare you even consider starting a prank war without me I will hunt you down and make sure you are on the wrong end of my pranking wand. You have been warned.

You haven't? I have. I'm writing this to you right now with my left foot just to prove a point to you. I can complete the transfiguration, and my writing is still rather legible.

The decoy detonators would be easy to adjust. I still have the plans for it in my trunk upstairs. We'll just need to take one apart and add new parts to it. It'll only take us a week.

What do you take me for? Of course we'll be seen by someone! We'll be talking to Dumbledore about muggle sweets. He's fairly fond of them. I was thinking of trying to find a way to send some to Dad. He'll be fascinated by them, and it'll keep us out of trouble.

Oh my. The Toad, you just went there. I agree with you there. This is going to be the most serious one-sided prank war Hogwarts has ever seen. It _would_ also be more beneficial to the general Hogwarts populace if we targeted the Pink Hag, but who cares about that?

I think our target should be redirected to our next victim. Dungeon Bat has had too much time in the spotlight. He needs to learn to share now.

Forge, your more talented brother.

* * *

Forge, my highly demanding twin,

Oh, I shall dare think of it all I want. I am certain I can take care of myself in a pranking war. I am the better twin after all. Your warnings mean nothing to me.

You. I shall perfect that transfiguration by the end of the week. I cannot allow you to be better than me in foot writing!

That plan. Ingenious, brother. No one could ever tell Dumbledore that he were lying, or even imply it. We could never be implicated by the prank, if we are speaking to him. That would be our ticket to not getting caught. Dad would be delighted with us as well.

We're going to have to start redirecting our plans towards the toad now. We're still thinking of Snape, and that's just a little disturbing. Imagine Dungeon Bat in the spotlight, swinging his greasy hair like a diva.

I'm not going to tell you to think of the Pink Toad like that. It's the stuff of nightmares.

There, you've already thought of it haven't you.

Gred, your sexier twin.

PS: Why are we still writing notes? We're in the Common Room now. We can talk as much as we want, no teachers.


End file.
